I was having a bad day. So my teammates decided i needed a break and all three of us went for a snack break in the evening. We would have taken the break anyways. So we went to the canteen and ordered idli, dosa and tea. And it doesn't matter to me if you do not approve of what my snack constitutes of. I have spent 6 years in southern India and this is how i am paying them back. Can't give a part of my salary since it barely supports me. And my company won't give me a decent hike because my manager thinks I stink at my work. I agree with him. And that is the reason i didn't grumble 1/10th of how much those people with the largest hike grumbled. And i grumbled because i wanted to show i was not crazy. That i am one of them. But i digress as do most of the bloggers, most of the human beings.
So we were having our snacks and one of my team mates suggested that tomorrow is saturday and i should offer some oil to shanee bhagwan. I don't know what is shanee bhagwan known in english. Some learned moron please enlighten us. And this is not a digression. It is important because my blog is global and you may not be the only one reading it. There is a possibility, even though the filthiest slightest, that someone from US of A or even from Somalia reads it.
Now to my teammates suggestion. I didn't like the idea for various reasons. The biggest of them all was that most of the other people will be offering more than what i do and so why the hell should shanee bhagwan show his/her mercy on me. Its like jobs in the market. You always want to go to the company paying the highest. shanee bhagwan too needs some criteria for measuring his devotees. All the devotees anyways approach him/her not because they like him/her but because they want sorrows to be out of their way. That factor being balanced what other better criteria than how much one offers to shanee.
Then I thought about the fact that why shanee is even called bhagwan. Only thing i know about shanee is 'shanee ki dasha' and people pray shanee so that he/she doesn't cast his/her shadow on them. They want shanee to be away from them. From that perspective shanee is more like a devil. And at that moment a brilliant idea stuck me. I decided to hire a sniper (sharp shooter) and get rid of shanee for ever. I knew i would be doing a great sevice to humanity by executing the perfectest plan. My team mates were dumb found for a second. So i changed the plan a bit and decided that i will buy a sniper gun and do the job myself. To my amusement the shock on their face refused to recede.
I thought may be they didn't like my idea of killing someone. So i calmed myself down and settled for shanee's abduction. This was perfect. I will kidnap shanee and put him/her in a secluded house somewhere in the jungles where no one can reach. Then i thought even a house in the urban regions will do since a sign board saying "shanee resides here" will do more than enough to keep people (i am concerned about the subset of people named burglars here) away. Now you may ask what about the security. Another perfect plan awaits. I have seen my father hanging those lemons and chilis in the shop to keep shanee away. I hope you guessed the plan. All the doors and windows will be adorned with fresh lemons and hottest of chilis. Lets make it even more full proof and put these shanee busters on the walls too. See, i told you, a perfect plan.
Now I have been using he/she, him/her etc. whenever i referred shanee. Frankly i do not know shanee's gender. If shanee is a 'she' and beautiful, my life is made. I will be like the kings i have read about. Won't say anymore to keep the moral brigade at bay. And if shanee is a 'he' i can earn good money (put no barriers on your imagination).
That's it. Now i posted this because i am looking for like minded people who can help me capture shanee. I would have posted a picture of mine to prove to you that i can't do it alone but refrained for good reasons. So LMP (like minded people) please shoot a mail to me ASAP (shanee might read the blog and take precautionary actions).
So we were having our snacks and one of my team mates suggested that tomorrow is saturday and i should offer some oil to shanee bhagwan. I don't know what is shanee bhagwan known in english. Some learned moron please enlighten us. And this is not a digression. It is important because my blog is global and you may not be the only one reading it. There is a possibility, even though the filthiest slightest, that someone from US of A or even from Somalia reads it.
Now to my teammates suggestion. I didn't like the idea for various reasons. The biggest of them all was that most of the other people will be offering more than what i do and so why the hell should shanee bhagwan show his/her mercy on me. Its like jobs in the market. You always want to go to the company paying the highest. shanee bhagwan too needs some criteria for measuring his devotees. All the devotees anyways approach him/her not because they like him/her but because they want sorrows to be out of their way. That factor being balanced what other better criteria than how much one offers to shanee.
Then I thought about the fact that why shanee is even called bhagwan. Only thing i know about shanee is 'shanee ki dasha' and people pray shanee so that he/she doesn't cast his/her shadow on them. They want shanee to be away from them. From that perspective shanee is more like a devil. And at that moment a brilliant idea stuck me. I decided to hire a sniper (sharp shooter) and get rid of shanee for ever. I knew i would be doing a great sevice to humanity by executing the perfectest plan. My team mates were dumb found for a second. So i changed the plan a bit and decided that i will buy a sniper gun and do the job myself. To my amusement the shock on their face refused to recede.
I thought may be they didn't like my idea of killing someone. So i calmed myself down and settled for shanee's abduction. This was perfect. I will kidnap shanee and put him/her in a secluded house somewhere in the jungles where no one can reach. Then i thought even a house in the urban regions will do since a sign board saying "shanee resides here" will do more than enough to keep people (i am concerned about the subset of people named burglars here) away. Now you may ask what about the security. Another perfect plan awaits. I have seen my father hanging those lemons and chilis in the shop to keep shanee away. I hope you guessed the plan. All the doors and windows will be adorned with fresh lemons and hottest of chilis. Lets make it even more full proof and put these shanee busters on the walls too. See, i told you, a perfect plan.
Now I have been using he/she, him/her etc. whenever i referred shanee. Frankly i do not know shanee's gender. If shanee is a 'she' and beautiful, my life is made. I will be like the kings i have read about. Won't say anymore to keep the moral brigade at bay. And if shanee is a 'he' i can earn good money (put no barriers on your imagination).
That's it. Now i posted this because i am looking for like minded people who can help me capture shanee. I would have posted a picture of mine to prove to you that i can't do it alone but refrained for good reasons. So LMP (like minded people) please shoot a mail to me ASAP (shanee might read the blog and take precautionary actions).
